Memorable mihimihi: Tips for writing a eulogy
There are many things that need to be done when someone passes away, one of which is to prepare a mihimihi – a eulogy.
Writing and giving a eulogy can be a huge emotional challenge, but also a beautiful way to share your love and memories of someone dear to you as a final farewell.
If you’re unsure where to start, we’ve put together a few tips to help you create a meaningful eulogy that you can be proud of.
Understanding the purpose of a eulogy
What is a eulogy? To begin, it can help to think about the purpose of giving a eulogy, which plays an important role in a funeral as a whole.
The main point of a eulogy is to share more about the deceased. Those who knew them as an adult might not have known about their childhood, or vice versa. Co-workers might not have known about their love of surfing, and family members might not know about their incredible skills at work.
As someone close to them, consider it your job to help fill in those details with love, respect, and perhaps a funny anecdote or two in the mix.
How to collect stories and anecdotes
One way to begin writing a eulogy is through research, which can be a cathartic process for you and others going through the grieving process.
Spend time with those who knew the deceased best, from their friends and family to coworkers. Over a walk, coffee, or a meal, ask about their fondest memories, the funniest moments, the most special times, and everything in between.
There could be a chance that your loved one has written their own obituary, which could give you a lot of information to share.
Deciding on the tone and style of your eulogy
Eulogies are deeply meaningful, but that doesn’t mean they can’t make people smile or laugh along the way.
Think about the person you are speaking for – did they have a wicked sense of humour? Did they love puns? Were they known for their rhyming poetry?
You can take cues from their personality and create a eulogy to match.
How to structure your eulogy
There is a standard structure to most eulogies. You don’t have to follow it, but it can be a useful guide on how to write a eulogy:
- Introduce yourself and explain your connection with the deceased
- Talk about their life, starting from their early years, covering important milestones, career moves, etc
- Discuss their best attributes and biggest life accomplishments
- Offer a personal story or two, again highlighting their positive attributes (or epic sense of humour)
- Add a closing statement. This could be as simple as the things you’ll miss most about them
Tips for writing from the heart while staying composed
Everything about a funeral can be deeply emotional, and those who get up to speak may need great courage to do so.
The first thing to remember is that many people cry or break down while giving a eulogy. It’s ok to be emotional, and it’s perfectly normal to take a moment to compose yourself before speaking – or during if need be.
To write the speech, it can help to start by simply noting down everything that comes to mind. Don’t try to put it into a beautifully-worded speech – just write. This can help you tap into those thoughts and feelings that are truly from the heart, then you can tidy them up to fit into your eulogy later.
There’s no denying that planning a funeral isn’t easy. On top of the emotional stress of losing a loved one, it can also bring huge financial stress to those left behind. Ensure peace of mind for your loved ones by considering OneChoice Funeral Insurance.
5 Feb 2025